The Confidence Game
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Aretha Franklin once said, “Be your own artist, and always be confident in what you’re doing. If you’re not going to be confident, you might as well not be doing it.”
Wise words. For me, these words were a gut check. There are many times I am confident in my art, but there are also times that insecurity plagues me and causes me to shrink back and keep silent. I am not an artist in the traditional sense, I can not sing or play an instrument, I am not painter or skilled craftsman, but my art lies in the gift and calling that God has placed on my life, to pastor people and teach His word.
Each of us have a gift, an art that we are called to be excellent. The trick is being confident with the art that is uniquely yours.
For years I have been in situations with people who are older, wiser, more accomplished than I. For years I have been quietly intimidated to be noticed. I shrink back and disappear because surely I have nothing to offer. This is not me. Naturally I am confident, outspoken and outgoing. Usually I leave times with people thinking, “I am sure I just talked way to much, why didn’t I listen more!”
I have been told in the past by leaders, “if you are the dumbest person in the room, don’t talk.” I let that bit of advice sink into my spirit and silence my voice.
A recent event caused some of this insecurity to surface in me and I was sort of freaking out a little bit. Matt with his usual care free attitude said, Who Cares! He then realized, that in fact, I cared. He talked me through and he shared with me what the Holy Spirit had shared with him earlier. He said, “Lets not think of it as being the dumbest people in the room, let’s think of it as being the ones who have the most to learn. Let’s think of ourselves as the luckiest in the room because we are the one who stand to gain the most.”
What a wise guy I have. Just like that, with those words coupled with the words of Aretha, my confidence began to grow.
When I stopped being fearful and started looking around at the people I perceived to be better than me, I realized we are all the same. We are all longing for success in our art, we are all longing for friendships and encouragement from others. In this life we can get tripped up with insecurity. We don't apply for jobs because we feel that we aren’t qualified. We don’t pursue our dreams because we are sure that failure is lurking around the corner. I am left to wonder if i chose to confidently pursue the dreams in my heart, what do I really have to lose? Maybe someone won’t like me or I may be asked to stop talking, I may fail, but at least I would have tried.
Here is what I know. I don’t have much confidence in myself, I know my thoughts, I know my motives and feelings. These things are flawed, they let me down and trip me up. So often, I say things that I wish I could take back. Literally as the words are coming out of my mouth, I wish I could take them back. I can only find confidence in one thing, the spirit of God on the inside of me. I know that I can be confident that He who began a good work within me will be faithful to complete it. I know that He gives me everything I need for life and godliness and I can be confident that He who promised if faithful to keep his word.
If I can find my confidence in Christ, I am free from the trap of insecurity. Each of us excelling at what we are called to do, where we are called to do it, advances the kingdom. I can not be silent when God has called me to speak out. Some opportunities that bring out insecurities in us are events that are meant to take us higher into the calling of God for our lives. God has not called his people to settle for a life of mediocrity and living lower that He desires out of fear and a sense of false humility, but neither has he called us to boast within ourselves or about how good we are.
3 For we who worship by the Spirit of God are the ones who are truly circumcised. We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort, 4 though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
Philippians 3:3-4
I love what Paul encourages the church with here, We can rely on what Christ has done in us. We don't have to put confidence in our flesh! Thank God for that, if more of us could get this truth in our hearts there would be far less insecure people running around. Insecure people hurt one another, they abuse and belittle to make themselves feel bigger. Insecurity is one of the biggest traps that we get ourselves into. It is the messy trap of comparison. My prayer today is that we would be able to focus on the Christ with in us and be confident in Him. Knowing that I will never measure up, I will never be the best, never be good enough. It is only through Christ that my life has value.
It is only when we are living confidently in what God has called us to do that others can see His good work alive inside of us and seek out this confident hope we have living on the inside of us. It is after all, Christ within us who is the HOPE of Glory! It would be easier to hide this hope, to hide Christ within us for fear of being uncomfortable or ignored, but that can not be our focus. Keeping our eyes fixed on the Christ, letting our motivation be knowing Him more and pleasing Him more is where our confidence is found.
