Reminiscing

 Thirteen years ago I had a chance to spend my summer in Scotland. I was an eighteen-year-old fresh out of Bible School and I jumped at the chance. I didn’t realize yet that I would fall in love with travel. I fell in love with seeing new places and meeting new people. I grew up a little bit that summer and it helped shape me into the person I am today.

As I stepped off the plane in London a few days ago I knew that God had some big things planned for me this time as well. I was hoping for God to show me big plans for my future, to reveal a new plan for my life. Instead, God reminded me of some young women He has placed in my life, He showed me Macon. I expected to see faces I didn’t know, instead He showed me home. I am so excited to see what God has in store for the beautiful girls I love in Macon, GA.

I did have the opportunity to do a little reminiscing while in London. At the Colour conference three of the lovely ladies I met while in Scotland turned up. Pastor Helen Smith, Morag Miller and Libby Robinson were influencers in my life. They cared for me and took me in while I was in Scotland; it was so nice to see them again after such a long time.

Sunday morning Jessie, Ronda and I jumped on the tube and headed to Spitalfield Market. As soon as we stepped off the train I recognized the station. It had been so long I almost wondered if some of my memories of London were fictional or if I had really been to the places I remembered. It was almost surreal seeing these places again after so long. We spent some time in the Market doing some serious shopping and having a great time.

Stepping out across the street and I saw the Church that I ministered in while here in 1998. It was significant to me because this was the place I gave my very first testimony. This was the spot I took the microphone and spoke God’s message for the very first time. I was so nervous and scared to do it, but I stood on these steps and spoke to a crowd where no one was listening. People just walking around shopping, going about their business, truthfully I don’t know if anyone heard a word I said. To me this was the beginning of something big. God used London to show me that I was capable to do more than I thought I was.

There are times in life that seem insignificant until we can look back on them years later. I can see now that the simple ministry I did during my time in Great Britain, as an eighteen year old was a huge part of my story. My story doesn’t look like I had planned. My plan was not the same shade as God’s plan for my life. I didn’t expect to live in Macon, GA. I didn’t expect to feel called to young women the way that I do. I didn’t expect to have four babies and become a pastor’s wife. I am so happy that God knows better than me. I am so thankful and blessed to be Matt’s wife and Cooper, Eli, Emery and Lilah’s mommy. I am so honored to have the opportunity to pastor the young people at Life Center.

His ways are higher than our ways; His thoughts about us are greater than our thoughts about ourselves. God’s plan is so much bigger for me than my plan was for myself. I have determined in my heart to surrender the future of my life to God’s plan, not part of my life or a portion, but the whole thing. It is scary to do that because I lose control and it requires me to let go of my plan and agenda. After this week I can look back and see God’s hand on my life gently leading me and guiding me through His plan. I like the way that my story has been written.

When you feel like gripping tighter it is in those moments that you must let go. When you feel you’re weakest, it is in those moments God’s strength is revealed. Lean into God, He has a better plan for you than you could ever have for yourself.