Last week...part one

Today I do not feel like I am full of answers, instead I feel as though my head is full of questions. The difficult part of feeling this way is the knowledge that the only way I can get the answers to the questions I am asking is to wait.

Ps. 27:14
“Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Last weekend we had the unique experience of taking 36 teenagers and youth leaders to a cabin in North Georgia. Now I say cabin, but what I actually mean is amazingly awesome house on five acres, complete with chef’s kitchen, 9 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms and indoor basketball court. This house was so nice and I haven’t even mentioned the master suit. I didn’t even want to leave this room! To be fair we let all our leaders come and use the master bath (which was more like a spa) if they so desired. All in all this place was the nicest house I have ever been in.

Our sole purpose in taking this group of people on the retreat was to offer an intimate setting, away from the distractions of home so that we could hear from God. Really hear from God, we wanted to give God the opportunity to speak to us, to answer our questions and give us direction for our futures.

I believe that our teenagers heard from God. Maybe not every one of them, but the majority experienced the presence of God in a real and powerful way. I know that I did, I know that our leaders did.

One of the most interesting things was to watch our young people enter into worship with two singers and a guitar. Each week at Octane they experience a full band and a sound system. Sometimes it is in our willingness to be simple that God has the most freedom to move in our lives.

I came home feeling pretty good, especially after my two days in Atlanta, and then three days in the mountains, it was a very full week. On a side note, the day I got home was also the first time in ten years of being a mother that I got puked on, not my pants or my shoes, but literally my neck and down my shirt. It a very eventful welcome home, luckily I was to tired to get that upset.

Anyways…I came home feeling pretty good, but after thinking through our time with God I find that I am left with more questions. I did get answers, but those answers led me to more questions. This revelation has made me realize that our lives when moving towards God lead us to an increasingly important dependence on Him.

We are never fully in tune with our paths are we? There are always questions lingering, needing to be answered. When those questions are answered we keep moving forward and in doing so we find, that’s right, more questions.

I think I am ok with this revelation. It keeps me on my toes, always in a state of needing God to show up. When I NEED him to show up is just about the time he usually does. He is constantly reminding me that it is Him that I need, not answers, not movement, just his Spirit.

The verse that kept coming up to us this weekend was Ps. 119:105,
“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet
and a light for my path”

God’s word is what leads us and guides us.

This morning the Lord led me to Heb. 4:12-13…
“12 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.
13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.”

God’s word is living and powerful, His living word is Jesus. He is the one who leads us and guides us and exposes our inner most thoughts and desires. In pulling close to Jesus all of our questions will be answered, all of them will be revealed a little at a time, all in His time. The difficulty lies in the waiting and the listening.

I know that my life is only beginning, my life is constantly changing and the answers I need right now they are coming. I am choosing today not to be in a rush to figure everything out, but instead to wait on God.