Writers block…or more accurately bloggers block. That’s where I have been lately if anyone is wondering. April has been a whirlwind of activities. These activities have dictated my life for the past month. Each day with new things to do, each day driving here and there, planning this or that, each day filled with stuff. Now I am not saying they have been unpleasant things, quite the contrary actually, I have been a part of some great events, ball games, school plays, practices and youth services! I find my self today however sitting at my desk feeling a little drained.

Last Friday when I told Matt that I was feeling drained BEFORE the Encounter weekend we taught at last weekend, he said God’s grace is sufficient. Ever the encourager I said yeah thanks. I wasn’t feeling it. He of course was right and God’s grace sufficiently gave me what I needed for the weekend. I started to wonder though is this what my life will always be like? Aren’t I supposed to take time to stop and smell the roses? When does that happen?

We celebrated my twins eight birthdays on Sunday (after the Encounter!) and I realized these babies are eight. My two little babies who have been a joy since the day they were born are half way to their driver’s license. I am missing it. Sure I am there everyday, I am there to feed them, make sure they have clothes, make sure they brush their teeth and comb there hair and get to bed at a decent time. In all rushing though I wonder are they getting enough of the good stuff? Do they know how wonderful I think they are everyday?

Yesterday Emery had a phone call form her little friend and as I handed her the phone she said “yo, girl” just the way I would say it. This child is me, to a T. I personally think she is hilarious. It made me realize that they are becoming who I am, not who I say that I am. They are like little sponges who do and say exactly what they see me do and say. So when I called the kid racing me on his four wheeler a stupid idiot they learned something. I am not the perfect parent, person, pastor or any other word starting with P you can think of. I am realizing however that God gave these babies to me as a gift. What I choose to do with this gift is one of the greatest decisions of my life.

I only have a little time with them in the grand scheme of things. I left home at seventeen! Rushing and hurrying and waiting on the next big event is causing me to miss out on the privilege of shaping little lives into the people God is calling them to be. I may not be able to carve out more time to sit and listen and play with the kids but the time I do have I can choose to be wholly and completely engaged with them, to listen to them when they talk and play with them in the yard instead of frantically cleaning a house that will never truly be clean until no one lives in it anymore. To take advantage of the precious moments I have when Cooper will hold my hand in the car. Those moments are becoming few and far between.

I have mixed emotions about this summer. I am lucky to work at a school so I get the summer off. I know that I will be tempted to say things like, “I am ready for these kids to go back to school” “they are driving me crazy” “the house is trashed” and even “I can’t wait to go back to work”, however I going to TRY to take each day for what it is, an opportunity to be with my kids. My girl Marla

http://untamedandunashamed.blogspot.com

is challenging herself to have a beneficial summer and I am inspired to do the same. Not to waste the summer away but to have a quality summer doing things that matter and slowing down enough to recognize the life that is right in front of me.

I hope you will join me in slowing down. Find some roses and smell them!!