Fatty Fassler

This morning on my way to work I heard the guy on the radio say something that caught my attention. He said “the risk of friendship”. That is all I caught but it really got me thinking about my relationships and the friendships I have had throughout my life. Next month at Miss Sisterhood the theme is “My Sister’s Keeper”. I have asked my oldest friend, my cousin Lindsey, to speak with me. So my mind is already thinking about friendships and how they affect our lives. How interesting though that this radio announcer would use the word risk when talking about friendship.

For the most part I have always had a lot of “friends”, excluding the three years of middle school or my “dark days” as I like to call them. I blame that on the rusty swing incident. What is the rusty swing incident you may ask? That was the day which is forever seared into my brain when a portly young lady climbed herself on a rusty swing in 6th grade, at a new school and earned the nickname “Fatty Fassler” when they swing broke and she came bouncing down on the ground. I struggled with friendships in those in between years. It did teach me an important lesson however about how to treat people.

I did have a few lonely years but I can look back over my life and see how people were there in seasons to teach me things and listen to me and help me become the person I am today. I will say this though, friendship is risky. We risk betrayal, disappointment and loss when we befriend people. We risk judgment and rejection if we allow people to see who we really are. There are people in my life who know me and then there are people in my life who KNOW me. They are the ones who can tell when something is bothering me, they are genuinely happy for me and genuinely sad for me. In each of those relationships I can remember a moment when I had to decide whether or not I wanted the friendship to grow. I had to ask myself if I could accept this person’s faults and annoying habits enough to push through, could I allow them to see my faults and annoying habits and then I had to be prepared for either rejection or acceptance.

Friendships are so important and I have been extremely blessed in the relationships that I have. My life is so much richer because I have an amazing group of people to call my friends. . I love the quote “no man is an island”. Ps 68:6 says that “God sets the solitary in families”. We are not meant or created to be alone, we are created to be a part of a family. There is another verse that has stayed with me that I memorized in Bible School, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly…” (Prov 18:24a) I learned this lesson a long time ago, my mom drilled it into my head, if I want to have friends I have to treat people the way I want to be treated, “kill them with kindness” she always would say.

I have not been perfect at this; I have hurt people’s feelings and talked behind people’s backs. I have failed so many times but that is the risk in friendship. The risk is forgiveness, being able to accept it and extend it no matter what. So many people help to paint the colors of my life, each one adding some different shade, a different shape, each one so vitally important to me and who I am. I hope that I can be to people what so many have been to me, an encourager, a prayer partner, someone who holds me accountable, someone who loves me unconditionally, someone who runs with me, someone to laugh with at the movies and won’t be embarrassed by my loud laugh. God has been so faithful to me in this area. There are times when I start to feel sorry for myself like I don’t have anyone, but all I have to do is start taking inventory of the people in my life that I love, most of them love me back.

It is easy to take our friends for granted, it is easy to consider the risk of friendship too much, but please hear me, you will miss out on so much if you stay isolated. Sure you may get hurt, you may get used but you may also be built up and encouraged. You may be able to give love to someone when they need it most because they trust you as a friend.

I have to ask myself am I a good friend? Do I treat people the way I want to be treated or are most of my friendships only benefiting me? If I want to have friends I must myself be friendly. I have to take the risk and open my life up to the amazing women God has placed in my path. However they got there, maybe they were born in my path with no choice, maybe they were a part of my kids lives first or the churches we worked at, maybe they showed up because there husband dragged them 1000 to help load a moving truck, however they got here, I am better because they came. I am better because they were willing to take the risk of friendship.

My hope is that today you will take the risk of friendship; you never know who is waiting for you just around the corner. Take time today to tell your friends you love them, you appreciate them, its always nice to hear. So, Thank you ladies those shown below and those who live far away but have touched my life, I am who I am because of you.